Should I Have a First Look? | Advice from a Photographer/Past Bride

Are you stuck on whether or not you want to have a first look? Here are a few of my opinions on the topic from a photographer/past bride's point of view.

1. The Traditional

When Jesse and I got married over 5 years ago, this it the route we chose to go. The idea of the building anticipation of the music starting, the guests standing, and the doors being swung open revealing the bride for the first time sounded so perfect and romantic to us. Our photographer snapped the camera right as Jesse's jaw dropped and a smile filled his face as I entered through the doors (the picture above is still one of my favorite photographs from that day).

Sometimes we talk about if we were to do it again, whether or not we would still stick with the traditional way. It was everything we wanted it to be, but we didn't have as much time for portraits afterwards and we began to feel stressed because we felt were making our guests wait so long (our photographer was working as quickly as she could, but these things time time). We went through our shot list as quickly as we could, and were still able to get a lot of photos that are so precious to us. But, we never got to take a moment together to just enjoy each other.

Pros: you get to have the traditional wedding experience, your photographer will work to be able to get that first light in your grooms face as you make your grand entrance (priceless!)

Cons: Your time for portraits is often shorter and may cut into your reception time no matter how quickly your photographer can work, you won't get to have an intimate, private moment with your groom before the wedding to just breath and enjoy each other

2. The First Look

During a first look, the bride and groom see each other for the first time in an intimate setting before the wedding ceremony - either at there ceremony location or another place with beautiful scenery. The bride quietly sneaks up behind the groom and when he feels her tap his shoulder, he turns around to take in the sight his beautiful bride. Of course, many tears, hugs, kisses, and more tears happen immediately following that first moment of pure joy and surprise. After a few moments together, the couple is able to get their individual portraits and the portraits with their bridal party (sometimes even the immediate family).

Pros: it opens up a lot more time for portraits of the bride and groom, you can get your whole bridal party portraits done before the wedding (and sometimes even some of the family portraits), it allows the family portraits after the ceremony to usually take less than 20 minutes, which allows the you to get to your reception and guests quicker (and gives you more time to eat some cake!) , your photographer will still be able to get that first light in your faces as you lay eyes upon one another and embrace, it allows for a few minutes to just breath and enjoy each other

Cons: You will not have that traditional wedding experience of seeing each other for the first time at the alter

3. The Prayer

During a first prayer, the bride and groom sneak away for an intimate moment together while still holding true to the "first look at the alter" idea. Generally, the bride and I find a cozy corner or door where her and her groom can hold hands, say a prayer, and get some of the pre-wedding jitters out without seeing each other. Sometimes they will even exchange sweet love notes (always a heart melter!).

Pros: you get to take a minute before the wedding to refocus on the true meaning behind the day, to marry the person who you love, You are worrying about anything else, just the two of you. Believe me, those moments are often some of the sweetest between a couple on their wedding day

Cons: It can take up extra time in your timeline so you have to be sure you can make those minutes happen, some venues make finding a place to do this more challenging

Overall, I want my couples to choose which way fits THEM the best, to think, "What will make us the most comfortable? What have we been envisioning all this time?" If that traditional, romantic notion of seeing each other for the first time at the alter makes your heart pitter patter, then go for it - Jesse and I have a system down for getting your shot list done in a way that is quick but still allows us to get precious photos. If you don't care how you see each other for the first time, and you want more time to just be together, then go with a first look. If you are in between - go with the prayer.

Whatever you do - do what you feel will make you both happy and will create the perfect moment for you.